Woody Allen is a frickin legend! (For one other reason as well as this poem)

'My Next Life'
(by Woody Allen)

In my next life I want to live backwards.
You start out dead and get that out of the way.

Then you wake up in an old people's home
feeling better every day.

You get kicked out for being too healthy,
go collect your pension,
and then when you start work, you get a gold watch and a party on your first day.

You work for 40 years until you are young enough to enjoy your retirement

You party, drink alcohol, and are generally promiscuous, then you are ready for high-school.

You then go to primary-school,
you become a kid, you play.
You have no responsibilities,
you become a baby until you are born.
And then you spend your last 9 months floating in luxurious spa-like conditions with central heating and room-sevice on tap, larger quarters every day, and then, Voila!
You finish off as an orgasm.