I Used To Crunk To Him, Now It's Drunken Admiration

I'm Not Emotional Or Turned-On At All!

Christmas Joke (Taken From Vin)

2010's First Christmas Joke

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.

'In honor of this holy season' Saint Peter said, 'You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.'

The man from Nova Scotia fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. 'It represents a candle', he said.

'You may pass through the pearly gates' Saint Peter said.

The man from Saskatchewan reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, 'They're bells.'

Saint Peter said 'You may pass through the pearly gates'.

The Newfoundlander started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.

St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, 'And just what do those symbolize?'


The Newfie replied, 'These are Carols.'

And So The Christmas Season
Begins......

My Latest Poem

'Fall'

Leaves are floating to the ground
and there'll never be another year.

The meaning of this,
F-all!

The bark is something to lean on

Head into the winter...

An old poem of mine (Dedicated to someone special)

'One-Two One-Two Zero-Two (12/12/02)

I was running towards a goal,
having a ball with the one I was most fond of,
with confidence and comfort in the side I was on.

And as the yards went on,
I would go longer on the run,
with blissful ignorance that our time together was limited,
even more so when I had a substitute
but eventually the truth becomes one-two one-two zero-two
when you take your ball and go home.

Again, Rivers Tells It Like It Is/ Was?

2 out of 2 as regards song lyrics I like off Weezer's latest album.

"Losing My Mind"

It's another night, stumbling around the town
Lookin' for action, totally wasted and trying to find a date
I could be killed, I could be arrested, but I don't care no more
I just wanna find the thrill that I felt once before

I'm losing my mind
I'm going insane
I'm watching my life go down the drain

Maybe I'll find the answers in one of these night clubs
And one of the people I meet, maybe they'll tell me
That everything's gonna be fine and we can't quit the wild life we know
We've reached the finish line, honey, now we can go home

I'm losing my mind
I'm going insane
I'm watching my life go down the drain

I'm running out of energy, and I have to lie down
Right here on the sidewalk, next to the shoe town
I hope nobody bothers me 'cause I'm so tired
And empty, life means nothing anymore

I'm losing my mind
I'm going insane
I'm watching my life go down the drain

I'm losing my mind
I'm going insane
I'm watching my life go down the drain
I'm watching my life go down the drain

Wise Words Of Maynard

"I'm very resistant to the idea of being a public-servant and it being my responsibility to educate because i'm not really qualified to do any of those things. I write these songs to move through some pain or work out some issues and if i'm succesful in my art and my expression, I shouldn't feel the same way I did when I wrote those songs anymore and there should be a logical progression but if, as an artist, I can express myself in some way that ends up helping someone else get through some hard times, I guess that's great for everybody. It helps other people. The problem with the music industry in general is that artists get into it because they have a desire to be desired and a desire to scream their heads off for whatever issue happened to them in the past, they weren't armed with the proper tools to move through any trauma (divorce/loss of parents). At some point they get popular and now they're part of an industry that's run by people that are uneducated emotionally. In a way it's kind of a dead end. In this society, we expect those artists to continue screaming to the end of their days. If you don't eventually feel better, i'm not sure how effective your screaming was and your screaming is gonna help somebody else so I should work out of those issues and move onto some other challanges. If the songs don't help me, how are they gonna help you?

Quite A Funny Vid, I Think (In The Vain Of The Suicide Girls One?)

Rivers Cuomo Knows The Scoop!

'I'm A Robot' (Weezer)

'I ride the train to work every day
I reach my cubicle about 9am
I have to earn money to pay my bills
but I don't know how my life turned out this way

I'm a robot
I'm a robot
I don't have any feeling in my heart

I have a wife and a child waiting at home
Occasionally, I give my Dog a bone
If i'm feeling wacky, then I might
drink a quart of vodka, spend the night down in the gutter

I'm a robot
I'm a robot
I don't have any feeling in my heart

Don't you worry
Don't you worry about me

This is how my Father was
How his Father was

Don't you worry
Don't you worry about me

Legend Of An Actor.- Not A Bad Song

My Latest Poem ( Has No Connection to Picture)

'The First Journey Of A Hair'

Tip your hat if it serves you well
and others may follow
and you'll be uncomfortable as the head of a line.

Rub your temples to deal with stress
because you have no control over what goes on inside

Purse your lips
when in a headlock

Be a man
and curse a buoy
under your breath

And now all that's under your belt....

Knocking knees are a kick in the teeth
But don't judge yourself too harshly
as a defence mechanism.

Stand on your own two feet
in a dance with yourself
and resent that you're lead.

Ahhhh , That's Better!

My Latest 'Phrase'. (Inspired by the comedian Stephen Wright

Why tip your hat if it's served you well?

Looking Forward To This Book Next Year

My Latest Poem

'Urban Tiger'

Bringing colour to this concrete-jungle
that has to be hunted down.

My gun leads me to your part of town
but it can't be used
if I want to come back and see you.

Your graceful movement around the stiffened,
though it's hard in this situation to step on toes,
is an unwritten rule in certain places
with people just like me.

And I feel so rigid!

Frank Frazatta (Quite Like This)

This is the shit!

Defo Interested In Checking Out This Book!

Crazy (Thanks To Tom)

True

etiuq suoruomuh

LOL

Twilight Demotivational Posters | Funniest Place: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"

Lucas Is A Bit Of A Legend!

Korn In A Crop Circle (Song Starts Around 2:36)

Excited About The New Album Next Year!

Cigarettes (199?-June 27 2010)

" Cigarette-Filter Nipples "
(An old poem of mine)

Going to the orange like clockwork.
It's a natural laxative
to filter out the cancer that is inside of you.

I only want one slice
to strengthen the relief!

Very funny me thinks.

"Borders Are…" by Serj Tankian

Borders Surround
Borders Bound
Borders Marginalize
Borders Frame
Borders Divide
Borders Kill

Borders are the ultimate man-made walls separating and differentiating us beyond our cultures, beyond our beliefs, beyond economic hierarchies.

Borders are subjective, unnatural lines drawn by humans delineating land, water, and air for partisan collective utilization.

If borders were natural, other animals, in fact, all beings would be bound by them. Obviously, they aren't.

Indigenous cultures never recognized borders, cognizant of the fact that the land owns us and not the other way around.

Borders lead to war, occupation, and bigotry, even genocide. Worst of all, borders are a deceptive, yet constant reinforcement of the notion that we are alone, separate from each other and all things around us.

The multi-layered borders of our lives stratify separation in its undignified definition.

There are people dying in Kashmir due to border disputes. Shots are fired daily between North and South Korea over border disputes. The Berlin Wall separated the German people for almost half a century, at the border. Israel and Palestine continue to endure conflict over their borders, and the predecessors of modern-day Turkey (Ottoman Empire) felt they had to carry out genocide to protect their borders.

Borders represent the foundation of civilization, expansionism, abusive capitalism, and presumptive occupation.

Floods don't recognize borders.
Earthquakes don't recognize borders.
Diseases, famine, and drought don't recognize borders.

Why should we?

We deserve to live without the borders of mind, body, and spirit.
Given the unprecedented changes we are witnessing in the world.

We really have no choice.

Some Lyrics From A Song 'The Butcher Boy' In The Book I'm Reading Of The Same Name. I Like Both

" I wish my baby it was born
And smiling on its daddy's knee
And me poor girl to be dead and gone
With the long green grass growing over me.

He went upstairs and the door he broke
He found her hanging from a rope
He took his knife and he cut her down
And in her pocket these words he found

Oh make my grave large wide and deep
Put a marble stone at my head and feet
And in the middle a turtle dove
That the world may know I died for love.

Una Sigaretta

Many meanings.

1. Would El Capitano like the homeland Pop Tune?
2. My World Cup 2010 Italian team theme song. (Can they win 2 World Cups in a row since his absence?)
3. My ambition to quit smoking completly from Sat the 26th of June 2010 with pure will-power, just like he did.



A CIGARETTE
(Fred Buscaglione/Leo Chiosso)

(Translations from internet, hopefully they're accurate)

before i finish this cigarette
you will say yes, or maybe no,
you can think about it,
don't be too fast
you have still a lot of time
the time of a cigarette

i watch lazy, the fragrant spirals
you see,
i smoke in small puffs
i would like to stop
this bit of fire
i would like to stop the time,
but times goes on.

you see it burns down, this cigarette
you'll say yes, or maybe no
minutes go on,
maybe too fast
i look in your eyes
smoking this cigarette

look how is burning this cigarette
you could say yes, but you said no!
a sweet dream is dying
born too early
i go away my love
and i put out
this cigarette

My Latest Poem

'Stale Mate'

She's one up on a rainbow,
every colour at once.
I'm the absence of light.

A checkered past that the bishops won't see.

We want everyone to walk all over us
because we are board!

The Kings have long since fallen
but there's knights on the tiles.

Does everyone have their bread grilled?

29/05/10-05/06/10

Hip-hopping to this!

19/06/10-26/06/10

American Psycho

This video is too true!

Taken From The Book I'm Currently Reading 'For One More Day'

" ... and that's the thing when your parents die, you feel like instead of going into every fight with backup, you are going into every fight alone."

My Newest Poem

'Grey-Patch Beard'

An inevitable arrival
that brings a little light to the darkness.

One that doesn't fit right
into unwelcoming arms.

A frown pushes you down
A mouth that's growing uglier places the blame elsewhere.

Stick a dagger to the side to try and make things as they were.

Given time the light spreads right across the face.

How To Shower Like A Man/Woman

How to shower like a woman

•Take off clothing and place it in a sectioned laundry hamper according to lights, darks, whites, man made or natural.
•Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If husband seen along the way cover up any exposed flesh and rush to the bathroom.
•Look at womanly physique in the mirror and stick out belly.
•Complain and whine about getting fat.
•Get in shower.
•Look for facecloth, armcloth, loin cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
•Wash hair once with Cucumber and Lamphrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins.
•Wash hair again with Cucumber and Lamphrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins.
•Condition hair with cucumber and lamphrey conditioner with enhanced natural crocus oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.
•Wash face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes until red raw.
•Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash.
•Rinse conditioner off hair taking at least 15 minutes to make sure that it's all come off.
•Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bikini area but decide to get it waxed instead.
•Scream loudly when husband flushes toilet and water loses pressure and turns red hot.
•Turn off shower.
•Squeegee all wet surfaces in shower.
•Spray mould spots with Tilex.
•Get out of shower.
•Dry with towel the size of small African country.
•Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel.
•Check entire body for remotest sign of spots. Attack with nails/tweezers if found.
•Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If husband seen, cover up any exposed areas and then rush to bedroom to spend hour and a half getting dressed.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

How to shower like a man

•Take off clothes while sitting on bed and leave them in a pile.
•Walk naked to bathroom. If wife seen, shake knob at her making the "Woo" sound.
•Look at manly physique in mirror and suck in gut to see if you have pecs (no).
•Admire size of knob in mirror, scratch privates and smell fingers for one last whiff.
•Get in shower.
•Don't bother to look for wash cloth - don't use one.
•Wash armpits.
•Wash privates and the surrounding area.
•Crack up at how loud farts sound in the shower.
•Wash butt, leaving hair on soap.
•NOW !!! Wash face.
•Shampoo hair but do not use conditioner.
•Make shampoo Mohican. Pull back curtain to see self in mirror.
•Pee (in shower).
•Rinse off and get out of shower.
•Fail to notice water on floor because shower curtain outside bath for whole shower time.
•Partially dry off.
•Look at self in mirror again, flex muscles and admire size of knob (again).
•Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on floor.
•Leave bathroom light and fan on.
•Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, grab knob, go "Yeah baby" and thrust pelvis at her.
•Put on yesterday's clothes.

The Greatest Article I Have Ever Read.

That'd be sweet

Swap the Coffee with Tea and Dave Grohl would know the deal.

Harsh But Humourous

If I Had To / The Fact He Throws Curling In There Is Super Cool

Several students from the Aaron O'Keefe music-instruction school in Ohio recorded a cover version of the DOWN song "Ghosts Along the Mississippi"

Meow You, I Won't Do What Ya Tell Me!

My Newest Poem

'Santa'
(Created 14/02/2010)

A Dog leads me and a giant sack
that holds presents for bold children only.
That is every single child
because i'm childless.

I'm working every day
preparing for some.

I rarely change my outfit
Controlled by a beverage company.

My woman is cold all of the time
with little help.

My Latest Poem

' Social-Network '

An eavesdrop on a raise.
Shark's teeth.
That sweet sweet sugar into one body that can't store it.

Leaves drop on a merry-go-round and get dispersed to other parts of this Earth.

What if God was to be stricken with gum disease?

A poem I like (Rumi)

One who does what the Friend wants done
will never need a friend.

There's a bankruptcy that's pure gain.

The moon stays bright when it
doesn't avoid the night.

A rose's rarest essence
lives in the thorn.

The power of '6'. muhahahahahahahahahah

Whilst sitting at your desk, lift your right-foot off the floor and make clockwise circles. Now, whilst doing this draw the number '6' in the air with your right hand. Your foot will change direction and there's nothing you can do about it!

Woody Allen is a frickin legend! (For one other reason as well as this poem)

'My Next Life'
(by Woody Allen)

In my next life I want to live backwards.
You start out dead and get that out of the way.

Then you wake up in an old people's home
feeling better every day.

You get kicked out for being too healthy,
go collect your pension,
and then when you start work, you get a gold watch and a party on your first day.

You work for 40 years until you are young enough to enjoy your retirement

You party, drink alcohol, and are generally promiscuous, then you are ready for high-school.

You then go to primary-school,
you become a kid, you play.
You have no responsibilities,
you become a baby until you are born.
And then you spend your last 9 months floating in luxurious spa-like conditions with central heating and room-sevice on tap, larger quarters every day, and then, Voila!
You finish off as an orgasm.

Life Explained

Life: Explained

A boat docked in a tiny Mexican village. An American tourist complimented the Mexican fisherman on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took him to catch them.

"Not very long," answered the Mexican.

"But then, why didn't you stay out longer and catch more?" asked the American.

The Mexican explained that his small catch was sufficient to meet his needs and those of his family.

The American asked, "But what do you do with the rest of your time?"

"I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, and take a siesta with my wife. In the evenings, I go into the village to see my friends, have a few drinks, play the guitar, and sing a few songs. I have a full life."

The American interrupted, "I have an MBA from Harvard and I can help you! You should start by fishing longer every day. You can then sell the extra fish you catch. With the extra revenue, you can buy a bigger boat."

"And after that?" asked the Mexican.

"With the extra money the larger boat will bring, you can buy a second one and a third one and so on until you have an entire fleet of trawlers. Instead of selling your fish to a middle man, you can then negotiate directly with the processing plants and maybe even open your own plant. You can then leave this little village and move to Mexico City, Los Angeles, or even New York City! From there you can direct your huge new enterprise."

"How long would that take?" asked the Mexican.

"Twenty, perhaps twenty-five years," replied the American.

"And after that?"

"Afterwards? Well my friend, that's when it gets really interesting," answered the American, laughing. "When your business gets really big, you can start buying and selling stocks and make millions!"

"Millions? Really? And after that?" asked the Mexican.

"After that you'll be able to retire, live in a tiny village near the coast, sleep late, play with your children, catch a few fish, take a siesta with your wife and spend your evenings drinking and enjoying your friends."

And the moral of this story is: ......... Know where you're going in life... you may already be there.

'Saw' type actors in a movie adaptation of a book I love imo.

Lalala

Do your homework!

A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said,”Father, remember Psalm 129?” The priest removed his hand. But,changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?” The priest apologized “Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.” Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, “Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.”

Some New Year traditions i like from different countries

In Japan, everyone laughs at the stroke of midnight to ensure good luck in the New
Year.
In the Philippines, children jump ten times when the clock strikes twelve, hoping to grow taller in the new year.
In Mexico, some people take out their suitcases and walk around the block,hoping it would help them travel during the next year.

Is somebody watching us???

After spending 8 years in prison for an unfortunate accident, heavy-weight boxer Joey Nardone returns to a solitary life in Philadelphia. His time in prison and the opportunity to reflect has changed him. Feeling like a stranger in his own neighborhood and searching for some semblance of normalcy, he takes a job at the boxing gym where he used to work-out. Joey finds comfort in the familiarity of his old friends.

But his buddies notice a change in Joey Nardone. Where is the spark and zest for life, once inherent in their pal Joey? Joey, struggling to find meaning in life, meets a 14 yr. old Puerto Rican kid named Jesus, who is repeatedly beaten up by the neighborhood bully. The kid, not used to kindness from strangers, has no time for Joey. Life is hard for Jesus, a scrawny boy, who is not only dealing with his peers picking on him at school, but he also has an alcoholic, abusive father to contend with at home. The chemistry between these two unlikely friends; Joey, an over-the-hill over weight ex-boxer and Jesus a target for bullies, is pure synergistic �magic.� They begin a relationship that gives them both a new and inspired life with a purpose: to only �fight for the right.� the life lessons the old boxer teaches the kid are golden. This heartwarming story of two lost souls finding each other on the streets and boxing arenas of Philadelphia, will capture your heart. Because in life SOME THINGS ARE WORTH FIGHTING FOR.The Nail is a story forgiveness, hope and second chances